You’ve seen the new Doritos commercial with the attractive girl eating a bag of “Late Night: Tacos at Midnight” which show her cruising through some unnamed metropolis in a taxi, eating these magical, triangular bits of manufactured corn crisps with neon cheese powder.

devil chips

It’s fancy marketing.  But it’s a problem.  I’ve struggled with my own weight since I was a kid.  I’m not obese by any means, but apparently the proverbial chips (no pun intended) are stacked against me.  I run a lot (more than any of my friends) but I still have a dozen or so pounds that just won’t come off.  So I’m stuck in stalemate between where I want to be and where nature does.

According to a recent article in the New Yorker (and decades of research on the topic of American obesity) I’m not alone.  Somewhere over 1/3 of Americans are now considered overweight.  An many are extremely overweight to the point of physical endangerment.  I do my best to eat healthy (no Doritos for me, mayo is a no-no, and I haven’t had a candy bar or non-diet soda in about 10 years).  But the struggle is hard.

Some research suspects that our natural inclination is to pack away the pounds because our instincts are worried about being broadsided by a period of famine or scarce resources (like a 10-day meditation retreat or Ramadan…).  Makes sense since it must have been really friggen hard to take down a woolly mammoth back in 10,000 BC (don’t go see the movie).  I’ll believe that research, considering it’s damn hard to drop the pounds or forgo that next piece of Costc0 Pizza (come on, it’s seriously only $1.50!).

Anywho, in the New Yorker they go back and forth on what really the cause is.  They also give some cool new terms to the US overeating issue like “craveability” and “eatertainment” and “conditioned hypereating”.

“conditioned hypereating”…describe[s] how people respond to these laboratory-designed concoctions. Foods like Cinnabons and Starbucks’ Strawberries & Crème Frappuccinos are…like drugs: “Conditioned hypereating works the same way as other ‘stimulus response’ disorders in which reward is involved, such as compulsive gambling and substance abuse.” – Elizabeth Kolbert, XXXL in the New Yorker (pg 2 online)

The sum is that it’s a huge problem.  Like cripple our national health care plan huge.  My take away is that there’s a strange convergence of factors that are making this issue balloon like a stomach after a chinese buffet.  Human instinct, fancy marketing, low cost of processed foods (especially those that are corn-based) are making a crazy, delicious, edible layer cake of medical emergency.

Which brings me back to what was supposed to be the point of this post:

Dear Doritos,

We’re on to you.  Stop making those ridiculously named snacks that entice our taste buds and enlarge our backsides.

Munch love,

Joe