For being a pioneer in printed news papers (creating one of the first papers in PA and infamously publishing Poor Richard’s Almanac), Ben Franklin, in all modern measurements, sucked at ad-copy. I might go so far as to say that he would have been canned by any current magazine, newspaper or even blog for the wordy ads he put out.
Of course, back in the day (circa 1755) his long winded “advertisements” were the norm (perhaps even cutting edge) but these days any reader would probably just stop reading after the first line…see if you can make sense of this ad he ran in 1755 seeking to hire horses and carriages for General Braddock (who was “stateside” to protect the colonies from the belligerent French–obviously before they became the war-dodging country they are today. Brush up on the French-Indian War here).
ADVERTISEMENT. — LANCASTER, April 26, 1755.
Whereas, one hundred and fifty waggons, with four horses to each waggon, and fifteen hundred saddle or pack horses, are wanted for the service of his majesty’s forces now about to rendezvous at Will’s Creek, and his excellency General Braddock having been pleased to empower me to contract for the hire of the same, I hereby give notice that I shall attend for that purpose at Lancaster from this day to next Wednesday evening, and at York from next Thursday morning till Friday evening, where I shall be ready to agree for waggons and teams, or single horses, on the following terms, viz.:
1. That there shall be paid for each waggon, with four good horses and a driver, fifteen shillings per diem; and for each able horse with a pack-saddle, or other saddle and furniture, two shillings per diem; and for each able horse without a saddle, eighteen pence per diem.
2. That the pay commence from the time of their joining the forces at Will’s Creek, which must be on or before the 20th of May ensuing, and that a reasonable allowance be paid over and above for the time necessary for their travelling to Will’s Creek and home again after their discharge.
3. Each waggon and team, and every saddle or pack horse, is to be valued by indifferent persons chosen between me and the owner; and in case of the loss of any waggon, team, or other horse in the service, the price according to such valuation is to be allowed and paid.
4. Seven days’ pay is to be advanced and paid in hand by me to the owner of each waggon and team, or horse, at the time of contracting, if required, and the remainder to be paid by General Braddock, or by the paymaster of the army, at the time of their discharge, or from time to time, as it shall be demanded.
5. No drivers of waggons, or persons taking care of the hired horses, are on any account to be called upon to do the duty of soldiers, or be otherwise employed than in conducting or taking care of their carriages or horses.
6. All oats, Indian corn, or other forage that waggons or horses bring to the camp, more than is necessary for the subsistence of the horses, is to be taken for the use of the army, and a reasonable price paid for the same.
Note.–My son, William Franklin, is empowered to enter into like contracts with any person in Cumberland county.
B. FRANKLIN. (From the Dailylit.com version of Ben Franklin’s Autobiography)
No way that could be a Google Ad. The 425 words/2300 characters are a far cry from meeting Google or Twitter standards, but if Ben had asked, I could have helped him trim it down. Here’s the same ad as it might have been formatted for the internet-age.
Google Search Ad:
And finally Facebook:
Fair? Not really. Fun? Certainly. Franklin probably would have been a media powerhouse today (he was in his own time, amassing a fortune by 40 just through smart printing and by staying sharp). Perhaps we can take a hint from his eloquent, flowing writing style. Sure it’s formal, but it’s cordial and personal at the same time. Which says a lot more than the ad samples above.
That being said, I don’t think many people answered his original ads. After that “ad” appears in his book he talks about how he had to publish a warning to the people of PA after letting them know that the Brits would take their horses and wagons by force (since they had already asked so nicely and offered to pay).